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Ask Miki: Are all men dogs or just mine?

By: Miki Garcia
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Dear Miki: I have belonged to a country club for many years and do my fair share of socializing there. You can take it from me, and the talk on the golf course, rich men like having a wife and lover (or lovers) too. I don’t know a man alive who, if given the opportunity, wouldn’t do the same thing Tiger Woods did. Men are all dogs, and that’s just the way it is. Only women can’t understand why Tiger cheated on his beautiful wife. ~ Guy Perspective Dear Guy Perspective: Not true. Right now Tiger is trying to understand why. And when he comes up with something he thinks flies better than “I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect,” he’ll let his endorsement companies know. Until then, we’re left only with his divots. Dear Miki: In regards to your Nov. 30 column (“Is dead hubby haunting new relationship?”), there are always two sides to every story.  Maybe “Which Way” encouraged “Pam” to talk about her husband’s death in the beginning and she felt he was genuinely interested, and that he wanted to be her shoulder to cry on. He just never said, “Stop!” He says she’s smart, warm compassionate and fun to be with, and yet he’s thinking about dumping her without even asking her to stop talking about her former husband? Is that just like a man or what? Most women never know why some men leave. One day they’re there, the next they’re gone and they blame the woman for the relationship failing! It’s called lack of communication. Obviously she was a devoted and loving wife. What man wouldn’t want that? They don’t need a paid professional. All he has to say is, “I’m sorry for your loss but I’m really interested in YOU, and I would like to concentrate on OUR relationship from now on and move forward rather than keep looking back at the past.” How hard can that be? ~ Margie Ward Dear Margie Ward: Way too hard for a man who has said he “begrudged every bite of her filet mignon between her misty memories.” After six months of dating, “Pam” should be interested in more than his shoulder. If “Which Way” takes my advice and tells her he knows how difficult it must be to adjust to such a sudden loss, and that he would like to be friends for now, she can say “I knew I was talking about him too much, but you were so patient and kind that I thought it didn’t bother you. I’ll join a bereavement group to help work through my grieving process. I really like you and look forward to seeing you again.” Or she could say, “Don’t try to put this on me, buddy. I’ve run out of stories to feed your voyeurism. Do you know how dirty I felt squeezing out a tear the other night at dinner? Get some help! I don’t need friends like you.” Regarding most women never knowing why some men leave, I think if they’re honest with themselves, they know. Sometimes a man taking a hike early on saves a gal from walking alone when times get tough. A woman deserves a man she can count on. Miki Garcia can be reached at askmikigarcia@yahoo.com